I got myself quiet, in a quiet enough place. I asked my friend to be my guardian, because I prefer to have someone run interference so I will not be distracted by anything while I journey. I asked for protection from all directions. Then I spoke my intent.
I went to Badger, speaking my intent, and asking permission to be guided to where I could fulfill my intent. We went down a different tunnel than I had seen before. I was caught off-guard by the fact that this tunnel was lined on both sides by shelves (like tables) and were covered with beakers, flasks, and that kind of apparatus. Noticing my puzzlement, she retorted, "You are so limited in your thinking! How do you suppose I make potions, and tinctures, and stuff? Silly human..." She moved on and I followed, storing new information as I went.
We came out of this tunnel at the edge of a great meadow with a forest at the far end. She left me then. I looked around. To my left, I saw a large brown bear. In front, and just to the right, I saw a deer (doe). Above, a hawk was circling. These weren't meant for interactions, but guardians, I think. What was very puzzling and frightening was that something was trying to scare me, attack (or almost) me, but I had no understanding of why. I refocused on my intent; re-established my Wyrd-woman identity, and - ignoring the clamor and distraction - I followed a small earthen path (6-7" across) through the meadow. As I entered the forest, the path disappeared. I was still being assaulted, as if by gnats or buzzing things, even though I kept intently focused on what I was about.
Suddenly, a Sasquatch appeared. Calling me to follow (although not in "words" like all else I have journeyed with..somewhere in my mind I was responding, but not in my awareness -- this appears to be an even deeper communication, a more highly evolved communication, than I have ever encountered). We went to a place near an outcropping of rocks. Suddenly, I could "see" a huge hole in the ground, maybe 6-8' across. Everything was lush greenery around it and even all over the stairway leading down -- grass, and moss, and well, forest floor stuff. And they were stairs. Not a slope or tunnel, but intentional stairs, as if a natural overgrown part of the forest. As I was again expressing anxiety, fear, and frustration with the "attacking spectre" or whatever, the Sasquatch "slammed the door shut" and all became very quiet. Now, there was no "door" that I could see, but I heard him "slam it shut". Like it was invisible to me, but not to him. Freaky... The stairs opened into a kitchen-dining area, and I think there was a fireplace or something like it in the wall off to my right. In front and to the left wall was a wooden table with two chairs. Eager to succeed in my task, I again voiced my intent and desire to "talk" with the son of a friend of mine, who was unable to communicate due to his severe physical problem.
Suddenly, I got the distinct impression of being rude, or at least insensitive, to being a guest in this home. I believe, no, I know, that some communication was being given that I was responding to at a very deep unaware level. Not so much a reprimand as a reminder of being inconsiderate. Something like that. I apologized, and then realized he was "asking" if I would like some tea, and what kind would I like? It was/is strange, this encounter. I was in a situation that was as above me as my shamanic journeying is above the common folk. But still I was very intent on accomplishing my task and not being distracted by the wonder of all this. I responded "yes" to the tea, preferably herbal berry or green tea of some sort. I set down at the table as he sat down opposite me. What we may have conversed about at a higher level, I have no clue. But it was good tea and good company. There was no conception of being in a safe place, as there was no possibility of it being otherwise -- I mean, like the notion didn't exist because its polarity didn't... if that makes sense.
After we had sat for a while, he got up and went to a closet(?)or something, and brought back a "ouija" board, of sorts. He set it on the table in front of me. The thought that passed through my mind into awareness (as if he had deliberately done that) was "You know how to use this to contact the spirit-within, so this is how you can focus on contacting Mike's spirit." I hesitated at first. I mean, in a lucid sense, I was already in an altered state, journeying to this place. Now, I was expected to drop into a deeper altered state from an already altered state. I was very hesitant to do this. I wasn't sure if I could or what would happen. However, he (Satch) felt confident (in the sense of knowing already) that I could do this just fine, well, competently - something like that. So drawing on that, I calmed myself down, and worked to get still enough to open to communicating. I was scared, no doubt. Finally, I got to the state I'm familiar with and allowed myself to somewhat, somehow, let go of my "control" of where I was, and release to my inner self. Immediately, I started getting thought-speech from Mike. I knew it was him. I know the connection. And I asked. I asked him if he understood where/who/what he was. He did. I asked him about the violent episodes, and he said, "I'm tired of this. I'm tired. I feel trapped. It's driving me crazy. Sometimes I just can't handle this." I asked him why he chose to live this particular life. He said, "Well, it's a karmic thing, you know. Part of it, anyway. With my mother and father. Maybe you, in a funny sense. And some other stuff." And I said, "Well, there must be something else, if you're still here." He said, "Yeah... but it's so hard. It's been so long. And now it hurts so much." I asked him what hurt; how did it hurt. Tell me about it. His answer had to do with energy blockage, like with a pinched nerve but not; it was causing like a buzzing in the back of his head, but not a physically buzzing, but psychic or energy flow, life-force, chi, something like that. It just caused him to go crazy and just react violently trying to just stop the pain, noise, sensation... I could really "feel" it.
(I think that's when he gave the symptoms to my friend who was guardian of this journey in real time. Of course, she had no idea what happened, why things were happening. Scared her to death. When I described this part of the journey to her, she made the connection. She knew it was him, and she knew she had felt what he was feeling. It made a deep impression. It's a sign of his desperation that he did not ask for permission before doing that, although her request-intent had been to be with me, to help if I needed it, to guard and protect. Well, I guess that was vague enough to allow what happened to happen. She'll be more specific next time...no doubt).
I gave a vision-question about why he wanted to be near his father and not his mother. He said, one: he was afraid he would hurt her with his unintentional violence. He said that it was just going to get worse if nothing were done. More frequent. More severe. And, two: he might be able to work a little more karmic stuff while he was there with his father. What karma was left with his mother depended on whether she could/ would do energy work with him.
Some deeper conversation between Satch and him seemed to discuss the fact I was getting tired. So, somewhere sensing this, I said to Mike that I needed to go, if it was okay, and I would talk to him later if he'd like. He said he'd like that. So, then, I let go the connection. I really don't remember too much of leaving Satch's home and forest, but I remember being in the meadow and seeing, again, the bear, deer and hawk in the exact same places - as if time had been suspended or something. Weird. Wyrd. I came back to my here and now. I think there may have been some lesson that occurred with Satch afterwards, but I'm not consciously aware of it - just a feeling. When I got back to the here and now, I realized that my friend was now in an altered state as well, so I tapped her hand to let her know I was back, and then stood guard while she was "away". Not knowing when she left, I gave her the standard "15 minute" journey, and then tapped her back. As soon as I knew she was "back" and okay, I just fell over exhausted and slept.